Ruby Sofia Haas enters the world 7.26.11

Monday July 25^th1:30pm: I was cutting up some chicken to make Steph Hagen’s famous chicken enchiladas for dinner that night. When I stood up to put the chicken on the stove, I immediately felt a gush of liquids leave my body. At first, I thought I might have peed my pants, but then after going upstairs to change, I noticed that it didn’t have any smell & it was completely clear, which is what amniotic fluid is like.

I first called John to let him know that I thought my water broke & then I called our midwife LeAnn to let her know. She asked me a few questions & then told me to call her back around 3:30 to let her know if more liquid leaked out or if anything changed. I called John back & by that time, he had researched all kinds of websites for me to look at to see if it really was amniotic fluid. I laid down for a bit to rest & then I drove to John’s work to pick him up & called LeAnn as well. She said that she wanted to see me in her office as soon as we could get there, to test if it was amniotic fluid, so we left right away. We got to Winona around 4:30 & had a short chat with LeAnn & then did two different tests, which both confirmed that it was in fact amniotic fluid. My water had broken! We didn’t know any kind of timeline as to when things would start happening, but at that point, I hadn’t had any contractions & was still feeling like my usual self. LeAnn suggested we take the night easy, eat dinner, do our normal routine & try to get lots of rest.

We made a quick stop at the store to pick up some more food (thankfully, I had gone on a massive Woodman’s run earlier in the day, but I still wanted to get a lot of fresh fruit) & then we stopped at a friend’s house to borrow a pump drain for the tub. We were both pretty calm, but excited… we still figured we had tons of time!

We got home around 7:00 & while John went to have a meeting (he was planning who would be taking over his duties at church for a few weeks), I puttered around the house, getting dinner ready & doing some preparations for a birth that week (we seriously thought it would be a couple of days). John came home around 8:30 & we took a short walk to our library to get some movies since we figured we’d need some entertainment that week. Then I helped him drain the birthing tub (we did a test run the night before just to see how long it would take to fill) & finish putting up the fabric on the basement ceiling (I wanted to spruce it up a bit). I think we crawled into bed around 10 or 11. At that time, I had some light cramping, sort of similar to the beginning of my period, but it wasn’t all that painful or consistent, so I didn’t think much of it.

By midnight, I had to get out of bed because I was so uncomfortable. I was still leaking fluid, so I just thought it would make sense to sit on the toilet for awhile. And that’s when my contractions really started! I brought my phone in with me so I could chart the contractions—how long they were & how far apart. I was shocked to see that, for over an hour (from 12-1am) I consistently had contractions that lasted 20-40 seconds every 2-4 minutes. I remembered LeAnn saying to call her when they got to be 5 minutes apart… & they were already 2-4 minutes apart!

At 1:00, I beckoned John into the bathroom & asked him to help me, & then at 1:02am I called LeAnn to share with her the news & we chatted for awhile. She told me to keep doing what I was doing & keep in touch if anything changed. John thought that it would be a good idea to go downstairs at this point & I was hesitant to move, but agreed with him. I had never felt anything so intense in my entire life! John had some friends of ours come & get Hartley at this time, too.

At 2:28am I called LeAnn again to see what should happen next, since I had started throwing up & was having more intense contractions. I could barely talk through contractions & at this point they were 1 ½ minutes long every 2 minutes… sometimes with no breaks! I was already feeling exhausted & weak, but John kept pushing the fluids & that seemed to help give me a bit of energy. We had previously told our parents that we would call or text them with updates once “things started happening” but we didn’t even have time (plus, I wouldn’t let John out of my site… I was squeezing his hands off the entire time!)

LeAnn & her assistant, Julie showed up at about 3:30 & they started setting up shop. I could kind of see what they were doing, but I was so in my own little world that I just felt like I had to entirely focus on getting through each contraction, otherwise I wouldn’t make it! Julie was especially helpful in keeping me calm & regulating my breathing. At that point, I was panting a lot & she taught me to breath deep & low & relax my jaw. I was making all kinds of low moany sounds that definitely helped me feel more relaxed. It was amazing to me to see the difference in how my body relaxed if I moaned & breathed deeply opposed to screaming…still I was squeezing on to whoever was near me—I really needed that to make it through the wave of intensity.

It was around 4:30 when LeAnn suggested that I get up & move (I had been sitting on the toilet in the basement). I was very hesitant, but I listened, moving over to this supportive beam in our basement (OK, it’s a pole). I remember saying something like, “I never thought I’d be here, this intimate, with this pole in the basement.” I was surprised that I had any sass left for such a comment! I stood there for a few contractions & then LeAnn said that she wanted to check to see how dilated my cervix was. I hobbled over to the bed & she checked me at 4:45. I was so worried that it was going to be at like a 2 or something, so I just kept praying & hoping I would be farther along than that. I remember LeAnn saying, “hey John, do you want to come here?” & then she informed us that I was fully dilated to 10 centimeters already! What the heck, we were having this baby today!!!!

At this point, John & the birth team were still working furiously to get the water in the tub up to 95 degrees. It was taking a bit longer than we thought & I was starting to get bummed that I might not be able to birth in the tub… but really at that point, I just wanted to meet this baby, so if that meant I had to run across the world, then I would have done it.

But by 6:20, the tub water was warm enough for me to climb in. Immediately, I felt a lot of the tension in my body melt away. It was incredible being in the water & although I would never say it took away the pain, it definitely eased my tension. I either clung on to the side handles like no body’s business (thank God for those!) or I gripped the hands of John or LeAnn. At this point, things were very painful & I remember doubting if I could push this baby out.

I started to have some fear that labor was going to take a very long time once I started pushing & I was very disappointed that it seemed like every time I ended a contraction, I wasn’t making any progress, but the birth team was very encouraging, saying that I was actually progressing very well. This was probably the worst/hardest part for me… I was so sick of having such strong contractions (even though it had only been a handful of hours) & I felt weak & tired. All I wanted to do was snuggle my little baby.

I had so much encouragement from the birth team & John… there’s NO WAY I could have done it without them! At some point, John started really praying hard for me (he had been praying the whole time, but something changed when I told him that I had fear & thought I couldn’t do it). He started really praying for me through every contraction & it helped soo much. At this point LeAnn got in my face more & told me I could do it—that my body was designed to do it & that I was going to meet my little baby soon. They both remained so calm the entire time, which also helped me stay as calm as I could, although at one point, I do admit to biting John on the knuckle… sorry honey!

I could start the feel the baby come down & it was such a crazy feeling… to feel the baby come down as I pushed with each contraction. Once the birth team could see her head (first glimpse was at 7:21), things especially got challenging for me. Either Julie or Noel suggested that I feel her head & it was so crazy to feel a little baby head coming out of me, but it encouraged me that it was soon to be over! At this point, I feel like I just had to make a decision that, yes, I was going to have this baby, & right now dang it! I think a couple of times before a contraction came on, I said, “OK it’s time!” I was convinced that I would just have to push one more time… & then the head would kind of go back inside of me & it got me down a bit… until LeAnn explained that I wanted this to happen (otherwise it would be too intense too quickly). My bottom needed more time to stretch out. John kept praying, the team kept encouraging me, & I kept moaning, screaming, biting, & squeezing. There were a few more contractions & intense pushes… I actually sort of enjoyed the pushing phase, at the end of each contraction—it was the most powerful feeling I’ve ever felt—I’ve never experienced such strength & intensity in my life. All throughout labor, the baby still continued to kick me, which I also thought was pretty crazy—the baby was ready to get out, too!

A few more pushes later, I got up the gusto to push the entire head out—at first I thought her whole body was out, but then the contraction stopped. The team all squealed at the dark black hair (yes, a hairy baby!) Then the baby started turning, which was really, really uncomfortably, but with the next contraction, I was able to fully push the baby out. It was 7:56am.

I immediately went down into the water & scooped up our precious little babe. I was so overwhelmed & excited & relieved! I put the baby close to my body & the birth team threw a towel over us so the baby wouldn’t get cold. At that point, I still had to deliver the placenta, but LeAnn wanted me to get out of the tub for that, so they helped me hobble out of the tub with the baby still attached (they wanted to cord to stop pulsing before it was cut). The cord was so short that it made for an adventurous 10-foot walk over to the bed, but we got there. I lay down with John at my side while I pushed the placenta out with my next contraction or two. All of a sudden it dawned on us that we hadn’t checked to see if the baby was a boy or a girl! So we checked & were delighted to find out that she was in fact a girl! We had beat the odds of having a boy in our nearly all- male family (on both sides). We named her right away—Ruby Sofia!

Ruby was lying on my chest & I felt the greatest high I have ever felt… I can’t believe I did it! I can’t believe we have a daughter! I can’t believe she was inside me minutes ago! It was incredible.

LeAnn informed me that I did have a bit of minor tearing & was bleeding a bit, but I wasn’t really concerned about any of that. She suggested that I go to the bathroom before she started stitching me up, so John cut the cord & I got up to go to the bathroom. The plan was to stitch me upstairs in our bedroom, since that was where we planned to “camp out” for the week after the birth. As I started walking, I immediately felt very dizzy & light-headed, so when I got to the toilet, they put me on oxygen & immediately started pushing fluids through me. I felt hot & dizzy & super tired. All of a sudden, I wanted sleep more than anything else! LeAnn told me to keep my eyes open & drink whatever they gave me. Then Noel suggested that I eat something & they got a fan to blow right on me. They also took my blood pressure & it was like 70 over 40. Pretty low.

I wasn’t worried at all—heck I was in my own little world, but I could see that John had a very concerned look on his face as he snuggled our daughter. After a bit, I could see LeAnn explaining some things to him & then he looked better. I didn’t realize until much later how out of it I was & how concerned he was. It was pretty much John’s only fear with a homebirth—that I would bleed a lot or need to go to the hospital after the baby was born & Satan was totally playing with his mind at this point, putting doubt & fear into him.

After a bit, I came to. They had me sit in the bathroom for a long time, & eventually I was able to come back over to the bed to get stitched up. John placed Ruby on my chest & he went upstairs to take a shower & pray. The stitching-process was sucky… no fun… but the fact that I had a gorgeous little girl that in fact was my DAUGHTER on my chest made it all worth it!

For the next handful of hours, John & I laid on the bed with Ruby & spent time getting to know her—ogling over her dark jet black hair, rosy pink skin & brassy cries. What a beauty! The birth team gave us some time alone & made themselves busy with cleaning up the place, enjoying some food, & eventually checking Ruby over. They weighed her & gave her a little physical to make sure everything was where it should be & that she had all her toes, etc. Turns out she’s a pretty exceptional human being—8 pounds 9 ounces & 21 ½ inches long.

I am completely overwhelmed by the experience of giving birth at home & we would do it again without a doubt. The things I loved the most were the comforts of being home (not having to go in a car during labor was marvelous & so was not having to pack any bags), all of the options for positions during labor (being able to be on the toilet or walk around or lay down or be in the tub, etc.), the lack of intervention because I was “low risk” (my body knew how to birth her, I just had to trust that), & the overall support, love, & respect of the birth team.

Those women were so incredibly helpful, encouraging & empowering. And then there’s my husband… not once did he look doubtful, nervous, or unsure of me (during labor… afterwards, he was a little concerned, but I was pretty out of it, so I didn’t notice much!) John was there to pray & help me through every contraction, get me more juice, get squeezed, & just generally support me. And now, even as I am recovering physically, he is such a champ—going overboard to sacrifice for me & take care of our daughter & me. I’ve never seen so much love & care… what a man!

As of today, she’s already a week old… she’s already changed quite a bit—she is becoming more acclimated to being outside of me & doesn’t jolt as much when she hears a loud sound. Her cord stump fell off yesterday, & she’s totally got the hang of feeding (at first she was so tentative & gentle & now she’s like a baby barracuda!) I can’t believe I have a healthy baby girl… I can’t believe we get to be parents… thank you so much for all your prayers & encouragement—please keep it coming & we’ll keep updating you on the life of sweet little Ruby Sofia!

Special love & thanks to LeAnn van den Bosch, our midwife, for taking care of us & ensuring that the birth of our babe was everything we wanted it to be. We love you!!

Bird Mobile

I think I'm going to be blogging a lot this week... it's just too hot to do anything else, so I'm hiding in our basement, where it's nice & cool (we've got a killer dehumidifier thanks to John's mom!) We've got a bathroom down here, our TV, all our borrowed library movies, & I've brought down tons of books & other projects for me to do, so I think I'll be OK. We've got a heat index of 115 today through Thursday, so the basement is where I'll be camping out for the week!

Speaking of projects, we've completed a few other ones... my favorite so far is this adorable bird mobile that we made with the help of a few friends who were visiting over the 4th weekend. That weekend we sewed together the felted birdies & stuffed them full so they are nice & plump. Just this past week, John & I finished the project by stringing them on a wreath, tying on the leaves on the top of it, & hanging it from the ceiling of the baby's room.

Besides the heat, I've been feeling great-- we have two more weeks of childbirth classes & we're now seeing our midwife weekly until the baby comes. I can't believe we're getting so close to meeting our little one!

Nesting 4th of July-style

Even John is nesting these days! Check out these three articles of clothing that he stenciled/spray painted for the baby... & it just so happened that they are red, white, & blue. Happy 4th of July!

(I thought the owl needed some button eyes)

Over the 4th weekend, we had some friends come into town. Whenever we have people stay with us, there's usually always one big meal that we plan & this time was no exception. Because of the ridiculous heat & lack of air conditioning in our home, we decided to take the meal outdoors...

We had a Mexican-themed meal... fresh corn tortillas, shredded chicken, avocado, black beans, salsa verde, & this amazing corn thing that Keri shared with us (corn on the cob with Mexican sour cream, chili powder... I think that's it... it was amazing!)

& Lisa made some 4th of July-inspired cupcakes (lemon & blueberry)... you'll have to ask her for the recipe because they are outstanding!

Our "back yard" meal!

In other news, we have our 36 week appointment this week & our midwife is actually coming to our house for it to make sure we have everything we need for the birth. It's crazy to think that on Sunday, our baby will be full term & s/he could arrive at any time! I think we're as ready as we'll ever be... my body is starting to feel the toll of being pregnant (especially in this heat) so I'm ready to meet this kid!

Could you pray for us? Here's what we need prayers for:

• Physical relief, especially from the heat & from exhaustion. It seems like lately I cannot get enough sleep & I feel very tired most days. I haven't had much of an appetite (I think mostly because of the heat), so it's been a challenge to get all my protein, fruits, & veggies in! I've also had some pretty normal pregnancy swelling, which is more uncomfortable than anything. I'm still learning the art of putting my feet up & not doing too much :)
• That the baby won't be born much later than the 7th (the estimated due date)
• A smooth, safe, & quick labor & delivery
• & of course, that we would transition well into being parents

We really appreciate it & look so forward to sharing some baby Haas pictures with you soon!!

Why we're having our baby at home

Reader beware: These are simply our opinions! We don't think that anyone who has had their children in the hospital are lesser of parents in any way-- this is simply the way we have decided to have our children & because I've been getting so many questions about it, I wanted to share this all with you! 

Even before getting pregnant, John & I decided that we would like to have our children at home & ever since then, I have been surprised by how many people have an opinion about that-- usually a conversation (with people we know & don't know) goes something like this:

"So how far along are you?" 

"I'm at 32 weeks, due August 7th." 

"Did your ultrasound show that you're having a girl or a boy?" 

"Well we actually haven't had an ultrasound, & we want to be surprised anyway, so we're not going to find out what our baby's gender is." 

"Which hospital did you decide on?" 

"We aren't having our baby at the hospital-- we have decided to do a home birth." 

"Wow-- I'm not that brave. Hope it goes well, though." 

If there's one thing that makes me giggle/get annoyed, it's when people say that last line. A dear friend of mine (who also has had a home birth) suggested that I start responding with, "Well I think you have to be brave to have your baby in a hospital!" That usually brings on a bit of awkward silence... something I'm getting more used to these days :)

John & I did not decide to have our baby at home because we want to "buck the system" or even because we think there's something inherently wrong with hospitals/the medical field. We just like to think through every decision we make & not just do things the same as everyone else because that's the way it's been done. We decided to have our baby at home because it fits us the best. We've prayed about it & have combined that with what would seem to fit us & here we are!

Here are some of the deciding factors that led us to choose home birth:

1. We believe that hospitals are for people who are sick or are in need of medical care due to emergencies. The vast majority of women who give birth don't need any kind of medical intervention if they are given enough time to labor in their own way. I didn't want to have to fit into a mold & go through labor in a certain amount of time to fit the doctor's schedule & because I want to deliver naturally, I didn't trust that I would be strong enough to resist/fight for what I want when I'm in that vulnerable of a position. Don't get me wrong-- I have loved the help I've received at hospitals for ailments/accidents that I've had. I just don't think that the hospital is the place I'd like to go to give birth.
   
   
2. We want to have the most gentle possible birth for our child, so we've decided to have a water birth. No, I'm not having our baby in our bath tub. Nor a kiddie pool (although you definitely can do either). I have a sanitary eco-friendly inflatable pool that comes with a liner that we will fill with air when the time comes so I can labor & give birth in the comfort of water. Whenever I'm in pain or not feeling well in general, water has always soothed me, so I expect it will be similar when laboring in the pool. Plus, it will be a gentle transition for our baby as s/he is born. There will be no butt slapping, bright lights, head vacuuming, or large crowd surrounding me as I give birth. Instead we will be in a place where we are always at ease-- in the comfort of our own home. We might even have a little Bob Dylan playing in the background...
   
   
3. We want to have a lot of uninterrupted bonding time during labor & after the birth. Like hours of it. I don't want to have to tell anyone to keep my child with me or to let me breast feed immediately. I don't want to be away from my child so s/he can get cleaned up & be "presentable" (another benefit of giving birth in water!) We're also not sure what we think about circumcision & some of the other "routine" procedures that take place after birth, so with our midwife we are given the freedom to explore those procedures. Often times in the hospital they are just routine & if you choose otherwise, you might be labeled as "those parents." And like I've mentioned before, we're really not hippies (although because we're having our baby at home lots of people think we are).
   
   
4. Call me selfish, but I want constant care. The beauty of having a certified nurse midwife is the fact that she comes to our house & stays with us all throughout labor, the delivery, & afterwards to make sure everything is ok & that the baby is feeding well, etc. I'd rather have that than a doctor whose attention is (rightly) shared with many other patients. Side note: our midwife is able to hook the baby up with a fetal monitor & can tell if the baby is in distress, contrary to popular belief (if it's one thing that people have questioned it's "what happens if something happens to the baby-- how will you know?" as if midwives just show up to our house with towels & incense.) Midwives aren't from the stone ages-- they have lots & lots of medical equipment & are prepared to do all kinds of procedures in the event of an emergency.
   
   
5. I want to be able to eat & drink when I want & get up & move around whenever I need. Gravity is a beautiful thing when laboring & it doesn't make any logistical sense to me why anyone would want to be laying down in a bed to have a baby. It just seems harder to me. Instead, I want to be able to move around, go for a walk, stretch, & be in whatever position is the most "comfortable" to have the baby.
   
   
6. I am a good candidate for having a home birth. I am healthy, haven't had any problems with this pregnancy, John & I are completely on the same page, & we trust that God will take care of us & our baby. We also really, really trust our midwife & if she thinks it will be best for us to go to the hospital at any point, we will listen to her. Our hospital is also 1/2 mile from our house, so if we do need to get there quickly, we can. However, most of the time there is an emergency, our midwife will be able to tell before the last second.
   
   
7. The majority of women in Europe & Asia give birth with midwifes whereas fewer than 10% of American women employ midwifes. While the United States has perhaps the most advanced health care system in the world, it also has the second-highest infant mortality rate of any industrialized nation...
   
8. The prenatal care that I have received has been out of this world. The average length of appointments with our midwife is over an hour long. We don't feel rushed. She welcomes us with a hug. We drink tea. We have lengthly chats & we get down to business. Our midwife is very thorough. I have homework that I have to do, I have to chart my food, she asks us all kinds of personal questions. We talk about natural remedies for any challenges that I've had. She gives us great scholarly resources/books that have helped us make decisions. It's fantastic. My first two appointments after I found out I was pregnant were at a clinic in La Crosse-- they lasted about 20 minutes, I didn't get in on time for either appointment because they were "so busy." I was told to quickly pee in a cup. I got weighed, we heard the baby's heart beat, & then I was asked if I had any questions. IF?! Of course, I had like 293 questions! With out midwife, we can take our time to thoughtfully chat about our baby's future. Plus, hugs, tea, & baby chat all goes together so well! 

A facebook group that I joined is called "I gave birth at home. Not brave. Not crazy. Just educated." says "Giving birth is a normal, natural process, not a sickness to be treated, nor a consequence to be feared. Giving birth at home has nothing to do with bravery - on the contrary many home birthers report being scared of birthing in a hospital! When we say educated, it does not mean we are elitist or condescending. It does not refer to a specific level of formal education. Home birthers come from all walks of life, and the reasons for choosing home birth range immensely. It is not intended to infer or assume that those that choose otherwise are "uneducated," but rather to dispel the myth that home birth is dangerous and only chosen by the foolish and/or "brave." 

Since we have decided to have a home birth, I've been pleased to discover that it is a whole new community of people for us to get to know! It's like this whole new world we didn't even realize was there because we didn't think that home birth was that "out there" or "different." I guess people need to stick together because it is different than the norm, but it's what we have decided & I'm so looking forward to going through this process with John! 

A video that we've really enjoyed is "The Business of Being Born." I've got a link to the trailer here. We found it to be very well done & informative. 

Like I mentioned before, I believe that wherever a mother & father choose to have their baby is right for them-- but when you've discovered a great secret, you want to share it with everyone! Of course I haven't had our little one yet, but I am anticipating a fabulous birth & will definitely share my thoughts after the arrival of little Haas.